Beautifully written, Helen, as always. I'd also add that for a good number of middle-and-upper class people, college is where they meet their spouses! Is it optimal that we've relegated mating to (often $$$) college? I don't think so, but the fact is that college often facilitates better socializing for most people than just about any other path (which is why blue-collar men have such low marriage rates), to the point where its primary purpose at this point is that socialization and not academics. So even if one thinks that women shouldn't have academic pursuits (a dumb belief for the reasons you listed), the truth is that for most women, college is one of the few paths they can take to work toward family formation, especially if they didn't have a high school boyfriend (and with high school dating down, that seems to be the case of many if not most zoomers, at least). So "college as a social structure" for better and for worse is actually almost a practical prerequisite for family formation, especially if you're in a certain social class or above -- for many of us, the choice isn't between college/employment and family but college/employment as a means toward family (as well as an end unto itself, but that's a separate matter).
On another note, I don’t understand how under-educated women can be expected to homeschool their own children, considering how prominent homeschooling is in “traditional” communities.
I did my undergrad at Wheaton College, one of the driest schools in the country where pre-marital sex was also taboo. The education I got there was far more rigorous than the education I got at a secular university the first time I did grad school. Not sure how that could have made me unfit for marriage other than how my intellect and self-assuredness made me intimidating to guys who would have not been good husband options for me anyway. I’m currently in a serious dating relationship, structuring an intellectually stimulating career that fits well with motherhood will involve some planning.
Beautifully written, Helen, as always. I'd also add that for a good number of middle-and-upper class people, college is where they meet their spouses! Is it optimal that we've relegated mating to (often $$$) college? I don't think so, but the fact is that college often facilitates better socializing for most people than just about any other path (which is why blue-collar men have such low marriage rates), to the point where its primary purpose at this point is that socialization and not academics. So even if one thinks that women shouldn't have academic pursuits (a dumb belief for the reasons you listed), the truth is that for most women, college is one of the few paths they can take to work toward family formation, especially if they didn't have a high school boyfriend (and with high school dating down, that seems to be the case of many if not most zoomers, at least). So "college as a social structure" for better and for worse is actually almost a practical prerequisite for family formation, especially if you're in a certain social class or above -- for many of us, the choice isn't between college/employment and family but college/employment as a means toward family (as well as an end unto itself, but that's a separate matter).
Beautifully said, Neeraja!!
On another note, I don’t understand how under-educated women can be expected to homeschool their own children, considering how prominent homeschooling is in “traditional” communities.
I did my undergrad at Wheaton College, one of the driest schools in the country where pre-marital sex was also taboo. The education I got there was far more rigorous than the education I got at a secular university the first time I did grad school. Not sure how that could have made me unfit for marriage other than how my intellect and self-assuredness made me intimidating to guys who would have not been good husband options for me anyway. I’m currently in a serious dating relationship, structuring an intellectually stimulating career that fits well with motherhood will involve some planning.